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BrownBagginIt
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Name: Matt
Location: Grand Rapids, Michigan, United States
Birthday: 10/4/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: Unicorns, Hardcore, Punk, Emo, Music, Guitar, Bass, Drums, Snowboarding, Cooking, Writing, Reading, Movies, Uban Decay, Dancing HXC, girls with sweet hair, Looking really good,
Expertise: Waging Intergalactic Battle
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  BrownBagginIt
Member Since:
1/26/2006
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| i'm really kind of having a shitty time. I need to get my life in order. I love the people that i've been spending most of my free time with, but i need to spend time with different people. my housemates are generally good people, but i can't afford to live like they do with regards to free time and money. I can't afford to be spending any money that isn't directly correlated to survival and debt. i need more positive influences in my life, because i am weak and have not proven any ability to be responsible. But, i don't think that it's a bad thing, i think people aren't supposed to live in vacums, everyone is affecting everyone constantly. but i don't see my effects on people and i'm seeing effects that i don't like. I need friends who i want to be like instead of this post modern you're ok i'm ok bullshit. and maybe that's making excuses for myelf. but i just feel like i'm a lot weaker than i thought. i'm most definitely not at the end of my rope, but i feel very despaired lately. i don't know what to do. I need to spend less money on: alcohol, tobacco, food, utilities, vacations, etc. i realized that about 70% of the time i'm good and fairly responsible, but that other 30% i get in funks or depressed moods and i throw everything out the window and get super impulsive and make bad deisions, knowing full well that they're bad... maybe even i make bad calls BECAUSE i know they're bad. my consumerism is my self-mutilation... except form what i gather, cutting actualy gives the cutter a good feeling afterword... where after i get depressed and blow some cash, i just get more depressed. maybe i need to take antidepressants until i can pay off my debt. maybe i just need a girlfriend, maybe i need to hit rock bottom, i don't fucking know, but nothing's working right now. i could really use some positive self-regard.
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| -woke up friday at 9. dicked around. rode bike all over 28th st looking for barnes and noble. wanted to find leo tolstoy and dorothy day. got lost. ended up at steak'n'shake. bought a paper and found out that it's not just me but the entire grand rapids population is dirt broke. met up with kyle wood and picked up gonzo and jake vroon to drive to brighton. stoped by my folks so kyle could get my subs an amp. went for a swim and ganked some food. back to danny's we cooked, played old beatles songs on the acoustic and made large campfire. drank about 2/3's of a bottle of jack daniels. rode home while my inner ear was recoiling.
- woke up saturday at 9, still intoxicated and rode to the farmer's market. i stumbled around a bit trying to clear the mental clutter so i could acquire some produce.... to be continued
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| I slept on the couch last night because heat rises and my room is 2nd story. I was working on my anarchy paper last night listening to daft punk, and i guess i left iTunes running because just now when i returned to my room Norma Jean was playing... I guess I have like 11 hours of music between the D's and the N's. Miranda is back from Cali, which is sweet, her and mike and i went out for mexican yesterday.
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| monday, founder's night... so they say. pile into car, burn some petrol, pay too much, small talk. OR make vegan mashed potatoes with ground up veggie burgers and garlic and onion gravy to bring to anarcho punk event at the DAAC (or is it DACC?) Rode bikes with mike, vroon and jazz downtown. Ate with some real live anarchists then saw 2 really good bands and a documentary about UK anarcho-punk. The first band was really hard and fast... but most notably was their vocalist... a heavily inked and mohawked gal who work(ed)s at the jimmy john's near calvin... and my oh my oh my... too much hot for one person to behold. then From the Depths played... goodness they were mighty fine! Also, there were hundreds of free zines available on a variety of topics. Some good learnin, good eatin, some tunes, a flick, community, non-hierarchical consensus based genuine anarchic fun.
Sunday - the really really free market on the empty lot on fuller and wealthy. a big middle fucking finger to capitalism and a big warm embrace to people that needed it. I was interviewed by the GR press (for the 3rd time in the past 6 months: free market, anti-gun march at calvin and 5th anniversary of iraq war) soooo, i might be a tad vain, what?
http://blog.mlive.com/grpress/2008/07/whats_mine_is_yours_at_really.html
also, maybe i previously stated this... but i became a member of the bloom collective. I'm hoping to volunteer one or two days a week. I gave'm $20 for a year's membership. So now my name is on an anarchist organization's list... which makes me hope for the end of the patRIOT act so i don't get me'self detained.
This sunday, i'm going to see radiohead play in Indianapolis with mike and lauren gusler.
i need to find a way to pay my incidentals (rent + calvin payment + student loan payment + utilities = approx. $400/month) and spend close to nothing on other stuff.
for now... the beatles will sing me to sleep.
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| some albums from lately, they're on facebook and you can only see them if you're my friend... so amy dejong mustard seeds has to get an account if she wants to see what crazy cool shit i've been up to:
warped tour:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15303342#/album.php?aid=2056309&id=15303342
warped tour part two:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15303342#/album.php?aid=2056310&id=15303342
Florida 4th of july:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15303342#/album.php?aid=2055329&id=15303342
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15303342#/album.php?aid=2055331&id=15303342
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=15303342#/album.php?aid=2055332&id=15303342
random 1237 stuff / BBQ / etc:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2055023&id=15303342
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